


What I called love couldn't be more painful

by Yeonbeanie



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Eloping, I promise i'll add a better summary later, M/M, OC in the first few chapters bc i can, Polyamorous Relationships, Polyamory, Real writers would yeet themselves off a cliff if they knew this existed under the angst tag, Relationship Trouble, Running Away, Threesome - M/M/M, and she's the sweetest gayest thing UGH, istg i'm gonna make that tag a thing one day, kinda has a roadtrip vibe, mention of abuse but for two seconds and it's for the OC not the main characters, overall this is meant to be filthy let's hope i can pull it off
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:46:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28797090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yeonbeanie/pseuds/Yeonbeanie
Summary: No one ever said love was easy to understand, especially the kind they shared. the kind of love that was so much more, so much purer than one could possibly imagine, the kind of love that broke all boundaries and overstepped all lines their so-called 'religion' had drawn.Taehyun believed it was the most amazing thing that had ever happened to him. he tried explaining it to his father, but logic went through one ear and exited right through the next, if the man's deep frown his frightening glare were anything to go by. and it scared him, so much that all he could think about was leaving everything behind and running away.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Huening Kai, Choi Beomgyu/Huening Kai/Kang Taehyun, Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun, Huening Kai/Kang Taehyun, Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V
Kudos: 14





	1. Zero: Color me blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> after three weeks of CRUEL exams the soul has returned to my body so i just had to write this because the idea was finished and it was literally HAUNTING me. let's all hold hands and pray that it doesn't suck

The city's drowning in blue. Alice-blue thoughts swim in Beomgyu's head, drowning in a sea of periwinkle and teal. Reilly's blouse flares as she bounces back and forth with the heels of her sneakers,the purplish indigo color of the cheap fabric darkening into a deep cobalt in the Midnight blue shade cast across the vast sky. she waves to him like a madwoman trying her last chance at escaping an aysulum when his car comes into view.

 _and she might be doing just that_ , Beomgyu thinks. the human mind is an endless meadow and a frightening cage all in one, and he knows she's been stuck in it for a while too.

Beomgyu can almost smell the colors tinting the sad morning sky as he takes a turn to the left and tries his hardest to control the car from crashing into a wall, the old thing barely coming to a halt and nearly killing the adolscent girl as he pushes on the petal with all of his force. the tires make a horrible screeching sound against the bumpy asphalt, no doubt waking up more than a few a their grumpy middle-aged neighbours, but she doesn't even flinch, too used to Beomgyu's driving antics (or lack thereof, to be honest)

He can feel the blue across every inch of the his skin as she opens the door of the car and the cold weather rushes in. it might just be the weather, but the air between them is ironically more suffocating than it's ever been, and if Beomgyu looks closely at her exposed arms he can catch glimpses of blue and purple on her skin as well. He looks away as quickly as he can. he knows she doesn't like it when someone looks.

_It sucks when they look at you, wide eyes and everything, like they've just discovered the latest drama or seen a bruised cat. they aww and pout and shit but they don't really care._

"it's getting colder these days" she mumbles quietly, more to herself than to him, shivering as she throws herself on the carseat the exact same way Beomgyu had told her not to yesterday. and the day before yesterday. and the day before that.

"wear a jacket then" he answers just as quietly as he reaches to fasten her seatbelt. she only smiles at him in return, her green irises and sharp teeth making the Cheshire-like grin even more mischievous as she does, almost frighteningly so.

"i didn't work out all summer to not show off gyu. if I want a girlfriend I gotta show what I'm packing" she says.

It's bizarre how someone can hide so well and if Beomgyu didn't see right through her, he'd nod his head and dismiss it, but he notices it in a heartbeat. Something is different. the only times she smiles this big is when something has happened.

There is a sad tone to her voice that she tries so desperately to conceal under her cocky grins and annoying attitude. he sees it, he looks at her like he knows it all, but doesn't question it farther than that. Beomgyu knows she won't talk unless she's ready and it doesn't look like she's gonna be anytime soon, so he leaves her alone. they don't say anything after that, just choosing to bask themselves in the peaceful silence and listening to the hushed whispers of the moody raindrops against the car windows instead. it's simple if they don't care enough to question the silence, or if they care too much to. he knows She'll be fine. they both do.

"Look" he's the first one who points it out this morning. They laugh as they pass Mrs. potter's shop and see her cursing the middleschoolers for listening to hip hop like she does everyday. it grows on you, for sure.

"hey-hey stop right there!" Almost giving Beomgyu a heart attack as she yells, she climbs out of the car like the absolute hyena she is, sprinting to the small flower shop on the corner of the street with the least amount of grace humanely possible, but then again, that's always been Reilly. It only takes a few seconds for her to return. Beomgyu sees green stems peeking out of her pale hands as she does, strange-looking blue flowers just barely visible from where they lay huddled into her wrinkled uniform blouse.

"what's that? trying to impress someone?" he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, only for his face to break out into the sweetest of smiles only seconds later, but it doesn't even surprise Beomgyu anymore. the façade breaks even before he's done putting it up, though that may just be another effect of having Reilly around.

"shut up" she laughs too, her chipped fingernails hastily picking at the stems. "you don't see me teasing you about your gigantic boyfriends do you?"

"just because you're short as hell doesn't mean everyone else is gigantic" he earns a punch to his arm at that, wincing and cursing her because _that fucking hurt_. but all he hears in return is a snicker. the bastard.

* * *

Sometimes, the unspoken words make the air around them so awkward that every words seems bitter, like they can both taste the lies they tell and the secrets they hide. but most of the times, at times like this, one glance is enough for their silent agreement of not letting karma and messy confrontations mess with their fun. that's always been the premise of their friendship afterall.

So without a single moment to waste with uncomfortable side-glances and stuttered statements, comes their daily dose of listening to the same Day6 song until Beomgyu's ears hurt and he's laughing at her ridiculous attempts to get the lyrics right. 

And before they know it, They're roaming the streets and Beomgyu's taking the wrong turn time after time just to have an excuse to stay in the car longer than they have to. Beomgyu almost faints when she accidently manages to say something so horrifyingly inappropriate in Korean instead of the real lyrics, his eyes turning into crescent moons as she stares at him, confused as ever.

"No-no you're not supposed to- _oh my god_ "

Beomgyu bursts into a fit of giggles again before he can even finish his sentence.

"you're such a dick" Reilly says, but from the corner of his eyes he can see her smiling too.

"We should just listen to English songs, I'm tired of having a stroke everyday from laughing too much. your pronunciation's just like your face. disgusting." 

It might seem insensitive, but he knows that won't hurt her. Reilly is one of those people who almost boast about being 'disgusting'. Owns up to it, is even proud of it for whatever reason he doesn't seem to understand. (probably because he's normal, but he doesn't tell her that) Beomgyu gets the feel that she doesn't even care about the dirty looks she gets in the hallways anymore, and maybe that's why they work so well.

It's not easy to not care. it's a painful process. before she came around the words used to cut through his skin, sharper than daggers, but no matter what, she was there for him when times where at their hardest, when Beomgyu was just a good catholic boy trying to figure out why the hell he wanted to kiss the two cute boys in his school senseless. so he made sure to always be there for her too. (same situation. in the end they came to the realization that they were both very much disastrously gay and the only mystery left to solve was who ate the last chocolate-chip cookie)

It's something they've achieved together, through countless nights of her pretending to be mean bullies (a whole group of them, her acting skills deliver) and preparing him for every situation he could possibly get into, but even all of that did nothing in terms of making them turn into these ridiculously sappy best friend types you see in movies.

"I swear to god I'll set your car on fire if you make fun of my wholesome pronunciation again, dick sucker"

"with what? your candles or incense sticks, grandma?"

"oh my god Beomgyu, you rude asshole"

A few tries in sabotaging their safety and driving the car into Mr. porter's porch later, they finally arrive to the red brick building that reads 'Liberty high' (That Reilly never fails to make fun of, no matter the circumstances), miraculously still in one piece.

"I swear to fucking god, every city in America has like five highschools named liberty high" ( _There it is_ , Beomgyu thinks)

"Stop saying that ,you don't even believe in god"

Reilly laughs, tying her hair into a messy bun ('messy bun' is an understatement, really. her messy bun is not just a bun that's messy. it's a bun that's so messy It looks like the nests of two-meter tall amazon birds no matter how many times she insists it's 'art'). Then she uses the second elastic to tie around the flowers haphazardly just to make them stay together.Beomgyu vaguely recognizes them as cornflowers, which is no surprise, since they're her favorite.

"hey gimme a few too, Taehyun likes these"

"Buy your own cheapskate" But before Beomgyu has any time to remind her he's the one giving her a free ride to school, she's rolling her eyes and handing him two of the strange-but-pretty flowers without a word. Beomgyu spends a few seconds cherishing them, staring at every single petal and taking in every small detail, touching the soft dark green leaves at the sides.

"C'mon let's go. don't be a sap dude, stop staring at that thing." Beomgyu chuckles, sliding out of the car and tossing the keys to her, looking around for Taehyun as she locks the car. her hair gets in his face as she hands him the keys and begs him to tie it in a way that doesn't make people (read girls she's trying to look cute for) think a dead animal's hidden in it, and taking one look at the mess she's made with the strands, he can clearly see why one might.

He grabs her hair in one fist, and pulling it extra tight just to piss her off, ties it in a high ponytail. his notices a change as he does. the roots are a deep shade of sapphire, which they definitely weren't the last time he did this.

"is it good? I dyed it myself" She asks the exact second he notices, as if she's reading his mind.

"yeah it looks okay" There's a bit of hair at her nape that looks orange (clearly giving off that messing-around-with-my-mom's-shampoos-and-hair-dyes vibe), but it's not that life-threatening so he doesn't bother saying anything else.

And when she walks away to talk to this girl she's been seeing (not without a 'bye freakshow' which is just so _utterly_ childish but it's not like saying that to her face has ever changed a single child-like habit of Reilly) Beomgyu's eyes are immediately latching onto his smaller boyfriend who's walking up to him with a lovely smile he so desperately wants to kiss.

Taehyun's neat dress-shirt is a sophisticated royal blue, the stark contrast almost perfect against the inviting porcelain skin of his collarbones. Beomgyu can swear the sky becomes just a tad bit brighter when he smiles, losing color as the light takes over to make it look paler than it already is, and Beomgyu's breathless at how beautiful everything looks when Taehyun's around. he rakes his fingers through the boy's freshly dyed blond hair, unable to resist kissing him hard.

Taehyun smiles once Beomgyu gives him the flower. a crimson blush decorates his cheeks.

"what's up? why's he blushing?" Kai's voice snaps them out of their glass bubble as he walks up to them, Taehyun turning even redder as the younger boy leans forward to leave a sweet kiss on each of the boys' lips. their hands brush, kai's fingers drawing small patterns onto Beomgyu's skin as they grab his smaller hand in his. the small gesture makes Beomgyu smile.

And suddenly, the glares and judging glances don't matter anymore. the city might be drowning in blue, but they're glimmering in screaming colors, and Beomgyu couldn't care less about what others think of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> even though I wrote this off of like a half hour of sleep I'm so excited for this story AHH *screams*


	2. One: Baby, just like real love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to sit through the most Painful debate/war about harry potter vs. TMI today over chat so this is the result.

_"aah, Taehyun-a...please S-stop"_

Beomgyu whispers to the Blond boy, staring into the younger's chocolate irises with a pleading look in his eyes. 

If Beomgyu's being brutally honest, this is probably the lowest he's ever stooped to in his life. and that's saying a lot, but being this hot and bothered about getting a hand job in the middle of his biology class? Embarrassing. Pathetic, even. 

He takes in a ridiculously large amount of air (only to choke on _fucking air_ afterwards and almost die when Taehyun really gets into it but that's a conversation for another day), repeating 'nonono' in his head over and over again, like it's Christmas morning and he just read the first chapter of demi Lovato's 'staying strong' book. another questionable use of his dear 24.99$, but it's not nearly as much of a bad decision as this one is.

"can you...ah..s..top.." he repeats himself again, trying to come off as if he actually means it, but his voice sounds so tragically wrecked that he doesn't even expect Taehyun to have the tiniest, almost invisible shred of dignity left for him when this impromptu handjob-session is over.

There are just so many things he shouldn't be right now. He shouldn't be this close just from Taehyun playing with him from under their desk. He shouldn't be so worked up when they've barely started. He shouldn't be so desperate or be this obvious. and yet, Beomgyu ends up being just that.

Taehyun only gives him a wicked smile when he sees Beomgyu's fucked out state, speeding up the movements of his wondering hands on The brunette's crotch, skilled fingers opening his zipper swiftly. his small hand is quick to slip inside the older's underwear, delicately wrapping around Beomgyu's shaft and The poor boy almost moans out loud when Taehyun thumbs at his slit, then circles his head with nimble fingers, applying just the right amount of pressure to make the older boy muffle a broken moan in the sleeve of his coat.

_'DOOOO-DOOOO! DOOOO-DOOOO!'_

A phone goes off. it sounds familiar, that much Beomgyu can tell, but as soon as his brain starts to turn itself on again Taehyun is speeding up his movements and Beomgyu can't help but pathetically repeating the tone of the familiar notification ring in his head over and over again, trying so hard to find out where he heard it before but everything other than the mind-numbing pleasure fades away. he feels so close it hurts.

"pick it up, you have a new text" Taehyun leans over, whispering softly in his ear. it takes Beomgyu a few seconds to realize what he means. _Right, that god-awful ringtone belongs to his phone._ he makes a mental note to change it to something more pleasant as soon as he's out of the grave danger of actually soiling his pants in the middle of fucking biology.

clenching his eyes shut, taking deep breaths to steady his racing heartbeat, Beomgyu picks the device up with shaking hands.

_nvm: wtf r u guys doing in the back mrs.c looks like she coyld murder you rn_

Taehyun's hand retracts the second he sees Reilly's text, and to be completely honest, Beomgyu doesn't know if he should be thankful or hate her for that. or if he should strangle Taehyun or kiss him when they're out of class for getting him into trouble. (It might seem like it's nothing now, but trust me, a biology teacher even thinking you're anything less than an angel means trouble)

"I hate you" he whisper-shouts to Taehyun, who has the audacity to chuckle after nearly ruining Beomgyu's one year of attempts in order to get of Mrs. Carter's good side. It's kind of infuriating if Beomgyu doesn't think about how beautiful the blond boy looks right now, But Taehyun just smiles. Beomgyu sighs.

It's the way the younger has always been, a lovely blessing and sinful curse that Beomgyu can't find it in himself to resist, too tempting to hold back in front of, and Beomgyu believes in that more and more with each passing second.

like right now, when he's smiling at him so beautifully yet so sexily that has Beomgyu's head spinning. 'we'll finish this later' he mouths to the horny-but-slightly-irritated boy. and he's so fucking smug that Beomgyu wants to choke him, but that plan goes right out the vent in the ceiling when Taehyun discreetly brings his thumb to his mouth and sucks on it _hard_ before pulling back, pink tongue darting out to lick his plush lips in a seductive way that has the older groaning internally.

Beomgyu doesn't know what good deed or deadly sin he's committed in his past life to deserve this, but he isn't complaining, not when he has the lingering promise of Taehyun's soft lips wrapped around him in exactly 20 minutes and 15 seconds. not that he's counting or anything.

* * *

  
"What the hell?" kai laughs when he sees them exiting the boys bathroom, faces flushed and lips swollen. a crimson blush creeps up to Taehyun's cheeks as kai smacks his ass playfully.

"couldn't keep it to yourself could you? ugh, horny teenagers these days" he mocks them in his signature old-man-voice. Beomgyu tries to contain himself, but that turns out to be harder than it seems, especially when he sees how red the blond boy has gotten. he bursts into laughter, mouthing a sorry to Taehyun when he glares at him.

"yah, stop flustering him" he slaps the youngest boy's hand off of Taehyun in an attempt to make up for laughing at him, and together they find their way through the seemingly endless hallways and inside the packed cafeteria. Beomgyu and Taehyun buy themselves something that looks like (and probably is) gravel, while kai stares at them with longing, his 'homemade' lunch feeling too heavy in his hands. (which clearly has no effort put into it, kai wouldn't even be surprised if he found a block of clay in his lunchbox today. let's just say that the amount of times he annoys his sisters has a huge say in what kind of crap he's gonna eat for lunch the next day but the boy just never learns.)

Beomgyu finds his blue-orange-haired friend sitting on their usual table, her bag and two books sitting aside from her as a way of saving space for them. (and it's kind of smart too if you actually take into account how much books and reading in general repel the people in their school)

"ooh, the clockwork series." Taehyun exclaims a little too cheerfully, picking up the book that has the picture of a girl on the binding and sitting down. "I love these kind of books. harry potter's way better though"

"no it's not" Beomgyu can almost feel the air of annoyance surrounding them both. Taehyun almost looks offended.

"hp's creative, I'll give that to you, but it's just not that much of a good read. you feel like a 90-year-old woman from Germany is telling you the story from her deathbed right before she dies of a fatal wound caused by a dragon breathing fire near her ribcage"

"well that's...oddly specific." kai mumbles under his breath.

"more like oddly a lie!" Taehyun scoffs, and honestly Beomgyu can never have enough of Taehyun's offended face when he's fighting over books with someone.

"Harry potter is so much more indulgent! it doesn't kill off every single character you end up liking 5 seconds afterwards"

"fucking PLEASE! SHE KILLED SNAPE _OKAY?_ I bet my whole life you don't even know what indulgent means when you use it in _that_ fucking concept"

the argument just keeps getting more and more heated, and somewhere between Taehyun threatening to cut Reilly's head off with a kitchen knife and Reilly threatening to do the same thing with a seraph blade, Kai leans over to Beomgyu to quietly say in his ear:  
"the books' way of writing doesn't seem that different to me though"

"don't pull that card. they'll probably freak out and kill you" Beomgyu mumbles.

and like every other day, the discussion ends with Reilly calling Taehyun a princess and Taehyun looking ready to kill her just because.

"I'm just saying princess. but to each his own I guess." she laughs when Taehyun shoots her a glare, his eyes practically shooting daggers. Reilly grabs the books/space savers that are now sitting on the table, putting them in her backpack with a sort of delicacy so unlike her it's almost funny.

"Hey, listen to this" Kai whispers in Beomgyu's ear, voice too soft for the situation they're in right now. Beomgyu only nods, taking one of the earphones and sliding it in his own ear.

he closes his eyes as the song starts playing, the smallest smile appearing on his lips at the way the younger boy sings along to it in a voice that's horrible on purpose. 

It reminds him of the first time they met, when Beomgyu walked into his first class in the new school, nervous as hell, only to be greeted by a goofy boy belting out the high note of 'lie' in a way that made him want to cut his own ears off and set them on fire. he hates how he can't fight it, but whether he wants to or not, he's laughing loudly by the time kai reaches the High note.

Beomgyu's heart skips a beat at the younger's boyish grin, his eyes sparkling as he leans closer, so close that Beomgyu can feel the ghost of his warm breath.

kai brushes their lips together. Beomgyu suddenly gasps at their close proximity (like the fucking idiot he is, his brain reminds him), and it makes the younger chuckle. his hand comes up to grab the older boy's chin softly, fingertips just barely grazing the skin there, but Beomgyu feels as if he's holding him in a bruising grip and pulling him closer.

their lips finally meet in a sweet kiss, slotting against each other perfectly. Beomgyu sighs into the kiss. he pulls the boy closer by the collar of his shirt, getting more desperate for something, anything, everything kai has to give.

"I swear to god if you insult harry potter ONE MORE TIME-"

"What are you gonna do? grab a twig and wave it in my face?"

"I'll gorge your eyes out with it"

"ha, I'd like to see you try bitch. at least shadow hunters have real weapons."

"OH YOU WILL NOT TEST ME TODAY"

The first thing Beomgyu sees when they pull away (after the two magic fans beautifully ruin the mood) is Taehyun holding a pencil towards Reilly in a threatening way, his eyes comically wide. Beomgyu just laughs while Kai watches in amusement.

"Someone's on their period" Reilly says, laughing as she holds her hands up as a sign of surrendering. "please don't take my life princess"

Taehyun rolls his eyes, putting his pencil back in his pocket. they finally give up their debate and start eating.

"Have any of you done the history assignment?" she asks a few minutes later.

"Which history assignment?" Taehyun asks as he takes a gigantic bite out of his sandwich.  
"the one about king Arthur, he said he'd give extra credit to whoever did it. NOT king Arthur, I mean. king Arthur can't give me extra credit. I mean Mr. jones" 

"We know what you mean bro"

Taehyun only shrugs, and Beomgyu mirrors him. everyone knows these two are not extra-credit people (mainly because they don't need it, unlike the rest of us peasants)

"I did it." kai mumbles through a mouthful of lettuce, missing the way Reilly's eyes light up like it's Christmas. Kai pretends like he doesn't know what comes next, going back to eating instead. he looks like he's in physical pain with his home-made lunch (consisting of lettuce, lettuce, and more lettuce. maybe one cherry tomato if he's lucky). she sees the opportunity and she takes it.

"I have a dry cake I'm willing to give up if you let me copy your history assignment." It takes kai a few seconds to realize that he's the target of the question. he looks at the cake Reilly's waving in his face suspiciously for a few seconds before shaking his head.

"Add ten bucks and I might consider it" she glares.

"You demon" it takes three books, four notebooks, a fistful of breadcrumbs and about 8 pens without finding anything for her to give up and instead emptying her bag on the lunch table. Beomgyu isn't even surprised anymore, her bag is practically a portable trash can.

"Seven dollars and a candy bar is all I've got"

kai rolls his eyes, mumbling an 'okay' in distaste and handing his notebook over in exchange for the goods. 

"just change some of the wording and stuff. I don't want Mr. jones to be all in my face for letting someone 'use me as a ladder to climb to the highest ranks of success''

they all snort at that.

"Hey Tae isn't that your brother?" Reilly asks absent-mindedly, too focused on copying kai's answers to even turn her own head in the direction she's pointing at.

the blond boy's eyes widen in shock, his head turning around almost immediately to where a grumpy freshman is sitting, glaring at them like he'd have their heads in a heartbeat. Beomgyu almost thinks he's hallucinating when he sees Taehyun become paler by the second, biting his lips nervously.

* * *

"What was that about?" he asks Taehyun after school when they're both climbing inside his ridiculously old car.

"What was what about?" The blond boy asks, trying to look engaged when they both know this is a one-sided conversation. Taehyun's irises are locked somewhere in between their school's front gate and Beomgyu, then shifting back to the gate again, where tired students are pouring out just like ants. There is a hint of nervousness evident in his look, and it makes Beomgyu slightly nervous too.

"The looks your brother gave us. it was strange, especially considering it's his first time even seeing me" Taehyun starts nervously tapping his fingers against the ruined leather of the cup holder. Beomgyu stops trying to turn on his goddamned car for a second and turns to him.

"Why are you so stressed, Taehyun-a? talk to me."

"I'm fine" he whispers with a voice that sounds like it's coming from the bottom of the ocean, and Beomgyu knows better than to believe him, or leave him alone with his thoughts. 

Because, see, this is the difference between Taehyun and practically everyone else in Beomgyu's life. while other people might need to be left to their own devices to get their shit together, Taehyun's someone who needs to empty himself, to be taken care of. he needs someone to push him so hard that he finally falls off the edge of a cliff and then...catch him. Someone that hugs him and caresses his hair softly and whispers sweet nothings in his ear. Beomgyu knows all of this and more, because he's been that person before. he knows exactly what Taehyun needs. But this time he's not sure if he's the person to do this for him. 

And yet, he still can't let this discussion end here. always too desperate to keep going, whether it be emotional talks or practically anything else. he's just always been this way, he keeps wanting to know until Taehyun draws the line with the frustrating silence.

"You don't wanna tell me?" is his last attempt, which goes unnoticed by his distracted boyfriend. maybe it'd be better if they did this when kai was around too, he reminds himself. Taehyun always seems to be more comfortable with the younger boy, something that Beomgyu really (desperately, even, at times) tries to convince himself that is just because of the fact that he's younger and therefore less stressful to talk to, but it still makes Beomgyu feel just a tiny bit insecure.

"Hyung, I'll tell you, I promise, but can we just...do this later?" the vulnerability and smallness in his almost-quiet whisper has Beomgyu sighing and nodding his head immediately. Something drops inside him but he doesn't push farther than that. it's Taehyun's problem afterall. And if he doesn't want to tell that's his decision as well, that much Beomgyu knows. So he just focuses on turning his car on instead.

After a few minutes, the car finally turns on with a horrifying sound, so loud and annoying that Taehyun's face scrunches and he covers his ears with his hands for a few seconds.

"Sorry" Beomgyu mumbles apologetically. the silence surrounding them is suffocating and light at the same time and it spills over the surface of their empty conversations like a droplet of water falling from the sky. then the car door is suddenly yanked open.

Reilly barely says a hello as she nags to herself quietly. putting her headphones on without another word, she stares out the window as if she was sitting inside a moving car, even though they're still in the parking lot.

Beomgyu takes a deep breath, trying his hardest to push away all thoughts that aren't about not driving his poor excuse of a car into a wall and killing everyone inside it. the ancient thing is already as unstable and out of control as a madman as it is, and the last thing Beomgyu needs is to be out of control himself too, Just the right ingredient to create a full-blown disaster and send all of them stumbling through the afterlife. he's not sure if he's ready to face all of his sins today, so he tries to be a sensible driver. for now, at least.

With a sharp intake of air, Beomgyu presses on the brake.

* * *

Beomgyu doesn't hear the news until very late that night. until 12:34 that night, to be completely specific.

he's chatting with kai like they always do, sending each other dumb memes and song lyrics as a soft tune plays from his phone. damp hair sticks to his head, still wet from the shower he took earlier. a pleasantly cold breeze pours in from the crack in his window that they never got around to fixing. all in all, it's a normal day. in fact, it's so normal that it shocks him. 

Beomgyu crawls under his covers, pulling the comforter all the way up to his chin while he replies to something his younger boyfriend has said, shaking off all the voices in his head that keep telling him this is that one moment in horror movies where everything is fine for just a split second, before the villian jumps put and starts brutally murdering everyone. he types all of that and more in a message he sends, hoping to receive some sort of comfort from the younger.

His message doesn't get the two blue marks like it usually does. Beomgyu doesn't think anything of it; younger's probably busy doing something. he turns off the screen for a while, his focus shifting to the history textbook sitting on his nightstand. he's already studied for their test tomorrow, but it never hurts to be more prepared, right? (hear that? that's the sound of the author wishing s/he was as put-together as Beomgyu)

He's only halfway through the first page when his phone rings. Beomgyu doesn't exactly know why, but to him, it sounds like the so-soft-and-heartfelt-it's-almost-creepy soundtrack in a K-drama when the main character is dumped and goes out into the pouring rain wearing nothing but a thin shirt and starts sobbing their eyes out. he picks up the phone with shaking hands, swiping to the right and putting it next to his ear. 

"Hello?"

"Hey." it's only one word. one word, one syllable, three letters. but somehow it makes his heart beat just a little faster, and not in a fluttering and good way. it's just beating fast, making Beomgyu's head spin and the most ridiculous thing is he hasn't even heard anything yet.

but in a way, it's like he can sense it before he hears it. Kai's voice is shaking while he stutters through meaningless sentences and 'lays the groundwork' (aka saying nonsense in hopes of making Beomgyu ready to hear the final, devastating news. he did it when Taehyun got diagnosed with chicken pox and when Beomgyu's father had an accident, so he has enough experience to tell you this firsthand, that NO it does not help. it's just a stupid plan to make him more nervous than he already is.)

It takes him a solid 20 minutes to finally blurt out the truth, ten of which he foolishly spends talking about how Taehyun really loves Beomgyu (it almost has him convinced that the blond boy is on his deathbed, which is more terrifying the more Beomgyu tries to not think about it), his rambling coming to an end when Beomgyu has had at least three successful heart attacks.

"and it's just that life is just so...fucked up sometimes, one secret that gets out can ruin everything. Salena Gomez says-

"for Fuck's sake, Kai, just tell me _What the hell is going on_ " Beomgyu almost shouts at him, which he regrets almost immediately. he doesn't apologize though. it doesn't even have any specific reason other than the fact that he just doesn't.

"okay okay, I'm sorry I was rambling again."

Beomgyu sighs, telling him to continue. What he hears next is probably what started and ended everything, in his opinion at least. shocking, so unbearably sad, frightening to the point where it makes Beomgyu's blood run cold as he hears those words that change his life forever.

"Hyung...I think Taehyun's in trouble with his family. Serious trouble."


End file.
